Thursday, August 28, 2008

TO: Someone who cares...

the following blog is directed to "Someone who cares"; A kind girl who submitted a comment on my previous blog. I feel as if she had something to say to me, she could have at least shown her true identity. I in turn am giving my comments back to her. Please do not take any offense on what proceeds for it is only my opinion and does not pertain to the rest of my blog.

Thank you for your comment and your opinion; however I thought I would clear a few things up for you and anyone else that may be confused by my previous post.

1.) I was not bad mouthing anyone. I did not name any names, nor did I point any fingers. I was simply telling a story of my day – a story that I witness almost everyday.

2.) I never once said having a child was easy. I merely said people should not blame their own stupidities on their children.

3.) I have no sympathy for anyone who can’t hold a baby and check their email….unless you only have one arm, then I might have some sympathy.

4.) I Love my neighbor, I love my family, I love my friends, I love my blog stalkers….I even love my angry customers.

5.) I am probably one of the most sympathetic people you would meet. It is actually one of my weaknesses. I cry when I see a poor squirrel on the side of the road for cryin’ out loud.

6.) Lastly, I was having a bad day that day…and for that reason; I wrote that blog. I also said plain and clear “I am truly sorry if this offends anyone…” So for someone to come back at me saying that I bad mouth people, is unfair and unnecessary.

The previous blog was a rant of mine and it was not my intention to be bad-mouthing, offending, insulting or upsetting anyone. With that said, I do hope that “Someone who cares” rethinks her loving comment – and if not, she can stop stalking my blog.


Anonymous said...

Here are my thoughts/opinions:
--Why is the person telling you how God created us to be not leaving their identity? Are they embarrassed? Are they scared? They obviously do not know that you are a Christian and though you do not share their same opinion, you welcome other Christian views on situations.

--Why do people not get that by being a Christian, you are also HUMAN. You will have bad days, and after all, is that not what a blog is about? Venting, capturing memories, documenting, etc.

--It's ok to vent. And it's ok for someone to leave their personal opinion on your blog (though I highly think it was judgemental and preachy) BUT LEAVE YOUR NAME NEXT TIME.

The End.


Anonymous said...

Oh and "someone who cares" if you really "cared" about Katy, (doubt you even know her) then you would know she does not bad mouth others and is actually one of the most loving people I know.

And if you are who I think you are (ahem) I cannot really say I have seen the same qualities in you. Then again, maybe you have changed for the better. Let's hope so...

Anonymous said...

We live in a notoriously violent society! Under the influence of Satan, people hurt, maim and kill fellow humans with impunity.

What about you? Do you inflict injury upon your neighbors? Could you be guilty of murder?

"How unthinkable!" you may answer. "Never!" Yet millions of seemingly harmless people hurt end even kill their neighbors every day. Their instrument of violence is not steely switchblade nor a silver "Saturday-night special" (an American term for a cheap handgun). It's the tongue!

"The hypocrite with his mouth destroys his neighbor," says Bible verse Proverbs 11:9. Whether the gossip is premeditated or accidental, murder is murder. And when you're dead, you're dead.

Yes, words ---- in the form of gossip ---- can hurt you and other people. But gossip can be stopped! Let's learn how to prevent this deadly crime. First, what is gossip? Many people don't know. Many do know, but pretend they don't. Many know, but don't care ---- they go right on anyway, murdering others with their words. So let's define this instrument of death.

What is gossip

Gossip accuses people. It charges others with wrong. People love to talk about the alleged actions of others. Does the following sound familiar?
"Did you hear what he did?"
"No ---- tell me!"
"Well, just between you and me, he..." and on and on it goes.

Listen to what God says about gossiping accusers: "An ungodly man digs up evil, and it is on his lips like a burning fire (Bible verse Proverbs 16:27). What happens to the victim of accusations? These accusers ---- this lynch mob of tongues ---- charge him, convict him and condemn him to death! Accusation is deadly gossip.

Gossip slanders neighbor. It destroys a person's character or personal reputation. But beware! He who lives by the sword of slander shall die by the sword of slander. Almighty God says, "Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, him I will destroy" (Bible verse Psalm 101:5).

Gossip talks indiscreetly. People who say just anything that comes into their minds spread gossip. They do not engage their minds before they engage their tongues. They do not evaluate what they are about to say or its effect on others. "A serpent may bite when it is not charmed; the babbler is no different" (Bible verse Ecclesiastes 10:11).

In short, gossip is any communication that hurts people. "The words of a talebearer [a gossiper!] are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly" (Bible verse Proverbs 18:8), King James Version.)

What is the source?

Now you know what gossip is, but do you know where it comes from? Whether you realize it or not, when you gossip you are involved in an encounter with the realm of evil spirits ---- an encounter with the longest and the vilest tongue in the universe ---- that of Satan the serpent!

Satan started gossip. Jesus Christ said, "He was a murderer from the beginning" (John 8:44). Satan probably used gossip to assassinate God in the eyes of one third of the angels, causing them to rebel (Bible verse Revelation 12:4). Jesus also revealed that Satan is a lying slanderer: "For he is a liar and the father of it" (Bible verse John 8:4).

Satan accuses both God and humans today through unsuspecting people. He is called the "accuser of our brethren" ---- of God's begotten children in His Church (Bible verse Revelation 12:10).

Listen as Jude describes the gossiping nature of Satan and his demons ---- and people who follow Satan's way: "Likewise also these dreamers defile the flesh, reject authority, and speak evil of dignitaries... But these speak evil of whatever they know naturally, like brute beasts, in these things they corrupt themselves" (Bible verses Jude 8-10).

Yes, Satan is the source of gossip. Do not allow Satan to whisper in your ear.

Gossip addicts

People gossip for many ---- all of them wrong ---- reasons. For example, people of low self-esteem tend to gossip. They do not respect themselves, so they gossip about others and pull them down. This allows their own egos to rise on the ruins of others'. The gossiper experiences a temporary illusions of worth, but quickly descends even lower than before. He or she then yearns to gossip again, aching to experience another high. But down he or she goes again.

And another gossip addict is born! Some people are addicted to gossip just as much as some others are addicted to drugs.

Frustration produces gossipers, too. You can't have everything you want. Perhaps you are dissatisfied with your situation in life. You hunger and thirst for satisfaction. So what do you do? Well, some people eat, eat, eat, desperately desiring to devour their frustrations away. Others talk, talk, talk and devour their neighbors away. After gossiping they feel better ---- for a little while. Then reality hits them again and the addictive cycle of frustration and gossip starts all over again.

Idleness breeds gossip. People who are idle with their hands tend to be active with their tongues. Paul comments: "And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not" (Bible verse I Timothy 5:13).

No one wants to be a gossip addict, destroying those around. Can the addiction be cured? Can gossip be stopped? Yes ---- here's how!

The cure for gossip

First, realize how much God hates gossip. Gossip-related sins appear three times on God's "hit list" of the six most abominable things He hates: "A lying tongue... a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren" (Bible verses Proverbs 6:17-19).

God hates to see His children hurting one another. Yet He sees some of us day in and day out destroying one another with gossip. He wants a cease-fire of the tongues. God wants you to have the same attitude He has against gossip. So the first step toward stopping gossip is to hate it, because it hurts people. Once you come to hate gossip, then...

Repent of gossip. Perhaps you don't think about this as often as you should, but gossip is sin. Almighty God thunders in His Ninth Commandment, "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor" (Bible verse Exodus 20:16). A main thrust of this commandment focuses on the harm done to one's neighbor by the types of accusation and slander that make up gossip.

James explains: "Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge" (Bible verse James 4:11). Gossiping is bearing false witness, and that brings the death penalty (Bible verse Romans 6:23). So realize that gossip is sin. Repent and determine never to gossip again.

Realize the source. As we saw earlier, Satan originated gossip. No Christian wants to be an instrument of the devil. Yet when you gossip you are being used by Satan. He not only started gossip, he now perpetuates it through humans (Bible verse Ephesians 2:2).

The next time you are tempted to gossip, think about the source and bite your tongue.

Don't listen. Not only should you repent of gossiping, you should stop listening to gossip. Don't fool yourself. Just as it takes two to tango, it takes two to gossip ---- one to talk and one to listen. Gossip would stop instantly if everyone would stop listening. It's no fun gossiping to yourself!

Listen to John's instruction: "If anyone comes to you and does not bring this doctrine, do not receive him into your house nor greet him; for he who greets him shares in his evil deeds" (Bible verses II John 10-11).

Just listening to gossip makes you an accomplice. If anyone comes to you with gossip, do not listen. As gently and tactfully as possible, tell the person that the subject matter does not concern you and you'd rather not discuss it. Be as firm as necessary. The person will quickly get the message ---- and the gossiping will stop.

Detect gossip. To stop gossip, you must recognize it. But how? God has provided you with a gossip-detection system. Let's take a look at that system, described in Bible verse Philippians 4:8. The first criteria for proper communication is that it be true. You should not listen to or say anything that is not true. In fact, you or the person telling you should be able to prove that it is true. "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good" (Bible verse I Thessalonians 5:21, KJV). If it can't be proven, it shouldn't be listened to or spoken of.

But what if it is true? Should you get involved? Not unless it's noble. The information should not in any way tarnish the character, name or reputation of another person. Any hint of disrespect should set off an alarm in your mind that shouts "Gossip!" Paul goes even further by declaring that the information must be just. This means you should not discuss or listen to discussions about the sins of others. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," says Bible verse Romans 3:23. "He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates the best of friends" (Bible verse Proverbs 17:9).

Another important part of our gossip detection system is purity. The words must be pure. In our sick society, blasphemy and profanity almost have become proper etiquette. "Their throat is an open tomb... whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness" (Bible verses Proverbs 3:13-14).

God does not want His people listening to or spreading dirty words or stories. Keep your ears and mouth pure. Accept only lovely things into your mind ---- things that effect you and others in a positive, uplifting way. Make sure the words you speak and hear are of good report. Bad news bombards us constantly. Human nature seems to thrive on bad news. "For their heart devises violence, and their lips talk of troublemaking" (Bible verse Proverbs 24:2). Paul tells us to avoid bad reports.

Use the gossip detectors of truth, honor, righteousness, purity, loveliness and good reports to stop gossip.

Speak to edify. In the same Bible verse 8 of Philippians 4, Paul says that we should speak words of virtue. Virtuous words are words of excellence and value, words that produce good fruits, that build up the speaker, listener and everyone else.

Speak words of praise ---- words that praise the great works of God. Talk about His great creation in all of his wonderful glory. Talk about God's Work on earth today ---- the Work that's spreading the good news of the Kingdom of God. Speak words of praise about the good in other people. Encourage others to do their best. Comfort other people when they are discouraged.

In short, use your tongue to bring life ---- not death!

Now you know what gossip is. You know its source. You even know why you gossip. More importantly you know how to stop gossip. So work to stop this heinous crime!

This is with love...I'm sure you are a really good christian...I was just helping a sister in christ out. No need for names or stabbing of the tounge. I'm sorry to have offended you so badly. Please just take advice and that...God loves us all...just helping!

God's best,
Joseph Connelly (sorry I'm not a female and sorry I really don't know you ) have a blessed day!

Anonymous said...

"Mr. Connelly" ,

Why did you feel it was necessary to copy/paste a sermon on "gossip" on my friend's blog? If your intentions were to give Christian counsel, then at this point I can assure you it has failed. It is so sad to me that some Christians feel it necessary to be so judemental. Sadly, this is what turns so many unbelievers off to Christianity. And the entire time the Christians feel they are doing what is "right". God made us to be human. God allows us to vent. Anger is a feeling. It is ok to be angry, God experiences anger. (Psalm 7:11; Mark 3:5) Believers are commanded to be angry (Ephesians 4:26). Please do not confuse someone's anger/frustration with gossip. This is a blog (I SAY THIS AGAIN) and Katy was venting about a situation.

If you have never vented, never gotten angry, never gotten frustrated, then you can copy and paste sermons all day long on other people's blogs. Go ahead. Other wise please remember to counsel others in a non-judgemental way. Reflect on this:

Matthew 7:2-5 declares, "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." What Jesus was condemning here was hypocritical, self-righteous judgments of others.

I can copy/paste too. :)

Have a great day!

Katy said...

Hi "Mr. Connelly" from Flower Mound - Thanks for the sermon on gossip. Although I was not gossiping in any way if I wanted to hear it, I would visit this website. Word-for-Word.

Also, if you are offended by my blog, I apologize and you can just not read it.
Love, Katy

Misty said...

wow! longest comments ever!! :D

Elizabeth said...

wow, dude needs to start his own blog if he is gonna leave a comment like that.
I mean it is a "BLOG" .. where we rant, and tell stories, and oddities of our lives... none of us are ever out to offend anyone.. seriously..

Anonymous said...

Well put poopsie!

Tim said...

Poor Katy!! Good grief!! She was merely ranting about a bad day, didn't use any names or say nasty things about this specific person. And I think we can all commiserate with her on having to deal with difficult people at times, its frustrating!
And I agree with Liz, if you don't agree with something on here, or any blog, go somewhere else! No one is forcing you to read it!

Stacy Ann said...

Dang, Tim, he keeps using my 'puter! :)